我们也倾向于认为,两个人的共同点越多,在一起的可能就越大……但其实,事实可能并不完全是这样。心理学家 Finkel (2017)通过实验发现,相似性对两个人相处是否合适并没有显著影响。这种对「相似性」的过度痴迷可能会阻碍我们找到「真爱」。
Matchmaking companies and theoretical perspectives on close relationships suggest that initial attraction is, to some extent, a product of two people's self-reported traits and preferences. We used machine learning to test how well such measures predict people's overall tendencies to romantically desire other people (actor variance) and to be desired by other people (partner variance), as well as people's desire for specific partners above and beyond actor and partner variance (relationship variance). In two speed-dating studies, romantically unattached individuals completed more than 100 self-report measures about traits and preferences that past researchers have identified as being relevant to mate selection. Each participant met each opposite-sex participant attending a speed-dating event for a 4-min speed date. Random forests models predicted 4% to 18% of actor variance and 7% to 27% of partner variance; crucially, however, they were unable to predict relationship variance using any combination of traits and preferences reported before the dates. These results suggest that compatibility elements of human mating are challenging to predict before two people meet.
@zero know yourself 这个公众号正如他的缩写一样,在我看来就是纯纯的ky