It feels like I'm not allowing myself to connect with the part that can feel angry, "irrational", "out of control", and aggressive. This disconnect is accompanied by an extremely low expectation of people (or sometimes a lack of positive expectations) - a feeling that my request is always not going to be accommodated in America. I feel like my wings have been clipped permanently. I have a deep down fear that there will be more instances in life where I'm wronged for simply not being 100% familiar with the cultural playbook here; and when that happens, being angry and aggressive is not going to be a good look.